Sunday, May 25, 2014
Asia Friend Finder Review
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Social Dating Free Ebook
Are you struggling with the fact that you really don't know anything about how to do social dating?
Busy people, with equally demanding and busy schedules today, almost always is the contributing factor for the lack of social interaction with others due to the lack of time. Therefore there is sometime the need for intervention and this can come in the package of social networking dating.
What if I can offer you a solution that will help you to attain greatness, to become a success
and learn about the best ways to use social dating?
In this book, you will learn about:
- Top benefits of social networking dating
- Social networking vs online dating sites
- How the dating game works in twitter
- Getting dates using facebook places
- many other useful things!
Meeting Your Online Date
I travel to Asia three to four times per year and have a real love for Asian women. The problem I have is trying to meet a good girl on a short, three-week vacation. I have tried, but it is virtually impossible.
So, I decided to try the next best thing. I signed up for an Asian online dating service. This is one of the places you can go to and meet girls online. You create a profile, upload your picture, log in and establish contact.
I used one for about one year and found plenty of pretty, young ladies to chat with. But, I never found one that I clicked with. There were plenty of girls vying for my affection and looking for marriage and way out of their current life.
I also ran into quite a few that were just there trying to scam money, offering private chats for a fee, and some that were truly sincere. At times, it was difficult to sort the wheat from the chaff.
The other problem I had with this site was that most of the girls were from the Philippines and my favorite country was Thailand. I have nothing against Filipinas, but my personal preference is Thai girls.
So, with very little searching, I found a site that catered to foreign men and Thai women. I paid for one year’s service and within a week I found the lady that won my heart. She was young, educated, sweet, and honest. We hit it off immediately.
Contact was continued with daily chatting, email, and sending photos to each other. We also started talking on the phone. The calls were short but very regular. Fortunately she speaks some English and I speak some Thai. So, we manage to communicate.
I had a vacation planned for last December with a buddy of mine to go to Thailand and decided I would forego the trip with him and head to northeastern Thailand to see her.
My plan was to give it a week and see what happens and if it didnt work out, I would still have two weeks to go elsewhere in Thailand for a vacation.
I spent one night in Bangkok, and met her in Khon Kaen the next day. She met me at the airport and drove me to the hotel. We nervously exchanged words, did some shopping and went out to eat. She had already arranged for a hotel for me and helped me unpack my belongings.
Surprisingly, she stayed with me overnight. This is highly uncharacteristic of a Thai woman. Granted, she slept as far away as she could and was fully clothed, it was a show of trust.
Over the week, we got to know each other more, visited temples, went out with family, and did some sightseeing. She was very easy to please and did everything in her power to make me happy.
We wound up spending the entire three weeks together and have fallen in love with each other. On my next trip, we will be looking for a house to buy and make plans for our wedding later on in the year.
We still keep in daily contact and we are both counting down the days until we are back together. Meeting her in person was the key to the relationship. There is only so much that can be done on the Internet. Face to face is required.
Finding love online is definitely possible.
Interracial Dating Prejudice is Alive and Well!
Any observer of the dating scene will know that there is a wide array of people seeking inter-racial or inter-cultural relationships. The area is of quite some controversy, with some viewing mixed relationships as an attack on t
Clearly, Asian women are in quite some demand in the personal columns and the internet. In particular, personal ads, whether on the internet or in the press, often cost money which means people are prepared to put significant resources into finding a partner. The targeting of minority press indicates that there is a great deal of selection going on, and these advertisers are researching where would be the best place to reach a large number of Asian women.
This would further bear witness that those men who do not specify what sort of woman they were looking for know exactly what sort of woman they were looking for simply by advertising where they advertise. However, the research that these men undertake seems to be somewhat scanty and is based on a visual appreciation rather than anything deeper. Many minority press or dating sites are written by and for a specific community, but white male advertisers also occasionally include specifications such as Oriental, Chinese, or Asian/Black – quite different groups in terms of distinct cultures.
To discard these types of advertising as aberrations is to understand these patterns by ignoring them. There is clearly a conscious move by some white men to seek out specifically Asian women, and as some of the adverts would indicate, non-white other women in a more general sense. I wonder why.
This is even more striking, when one compares this seeking out to the number of marriages between the Asian and white communities. The actuality of intermarriage between whites and Asians is low, and lower for Asian women than for Asian men. Thus, statistically speaking, the chances are low.
White male advertisers have a number of significant differences from Asian advertisers. They are older, are more likely to be homosexual, prefer above all Asian women (rather than a specific caste/religious/cultural background), and they place little importance on religion. Asian advertisers are far more likely to have a religious specification, and conversely, are less likely to state they were willing to take any race/religion.
White men in adverts specifically want Asian women, and not for their religious suitability or cultural compatibility. Few white men specify the woman they are looking for in terms of religion. Overall, the most common tag applied to the desired partner was Asian which indicates that white men were seeking a specific race, as opposed to religion, nation or language. The fact that the other advertisers used such descriptions such as Asian/Oriental or Asian/Black would also indicate a seeking out of merely other non-white races.
This would indicate that there is a large amount of presupposition on the part of white men on the sort of qualities that Asian (and other) women may have, and what a white person could offer them. Asian (and other) women are subject to a specific sexual racialisation. This was indicated in the text of some advertisements.
Most adverts from white men are fairly run-of-the-mill personal advertisements, apart from the insistence on Asian. For example, it is common to read seeking attractive Asian lady seeks slim young pretty Asian female, seeks an attractive Asian girl and so on. One advertiser declared that he adores Indian/Pakistani females, which would seem to conflate two countries. If one were to very broadly generalise, India may be more defined by Hinduism, and Pakistan by Islam, two very distinct religious and cultural backgrounds, indicating that the belief patterns of his prospective partners are wholly unimportant.
If advertisers specify an age of the respondent it was usually younger, sometimes many years so. Advertisers also tend to split into two groups, those who emphasise their financial status and others who emphasise their romantic nature. For example:
European mature white professional businessman / film executive lively personality, VGSOH, interesting lifestyle, kind caring, totally honest and genuine
English boy, 33, longing for the love of an Indian girl. If you enjoy simple things, summer walks, winter cuddles, then youre the one for Im looking for.
Another common feature was to emphasise their respect or interest in Asian or eastern cultures, including what music and food they liked. Respects eastern cultures and religions, into travelling, music (e + w) , Genuine [sic] respectful of Asian identity Interests include Asian culture, Likes cinema, hot food, music, have a wide range of interests including Asian culture and so on are common.
One advertiser the 33 year-old English boy above identifies religion and culture as a difficulty, saying Dont let religion and culture be barriers against two ordinary people who just want to enjoy themselves, which indicates that enjoying oneself is more important than either religion or culture. One white man indicates the taboo nature of the relationship he was seeking and the disapproval it might get from the Asian community by writing confidentiality assured in his advert, which conversely might also imply that he himself would prefer to keep this relationship under wraps too.
Another advertiser indicated that Asian women would not get respect unless it was from a white man: If you are looking for a special someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve, please reply, telling me a little about yourself he wrote, clearly meaning that Asian culture would not accord respect to its women. Another not so blatant advert I am looking for someone who wants mutual respect seemed to touch on a similar theme.
Some adverts allude to the special domestic nature of Asian women by indicating that Asian women would be more caring. One said Im an honest caring and gentle person ( an incurable romantic) who works to [sic] hard and needs an Asian girl to ease the stress! and another 27-year-old advertiser stipulated his respondent should be a nice, gentle intelligent woman 18 – 25.
There is some transparent racialised and stereotypical thinking in the manner in which white men advertise for Asian (or other) women. Clearly the biggest single factor to support this case is that white men are clearly advertising in high proportions in Asian media. This preference is supported by some notions of what Asian women in general are like, and what each can offer in the marriage/romance trade-off. Taking all advertisements into consideration which is not necessarily indicative of any one advertiser the composite picture is that:
* The white man seeks out broadly other (black, coloured, oriental, Indian/Pakistani) women. He is not seeking a specific religious, cultural, linguistic or national background. The defining feature is race or otherness.
* The white man can offer either financial support or romance, either of which he assumes is wanted by the Asian woman.
* In addition, the white man will be respectful of the Asian womans heritage.
* The white man will treat Asian women with more respect than Asian men. Asian women are implicitly not satisfied with the deal they get from Asian men or culture.
* Asian women are more caring than their white counterparts and have stress-relieving capabilities, clearly an allusion to a domestic role. Furthermore, this may have sexual particular connotations as stress-relief does come in many physical forms.
These assumed qualities are further evidence that colonial and racist representations of the other are alive and well in the minds of some white men, and that the whole area of inter-racial relationships is not free of prejudice. Indeed, Roger Bastide wrote of interracial sex: In those bodies finding each other, fusing, there are two races at each others throats.
Dating Tips: Shaping a Woman’s Behavior
I’d like to introduce a concept called SHAPING.
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Shaping includes a number of tools that are used to set a STRONG precedent of behavior in a woman.
Quick Question >>>
Have you ever been in a situation with a woman, and she talked about how she LOVED when her boyfriend did something very specific?
Do you remember feeling motivation to perhaps DO THE SAME EXACT THING?
-or-
Have you ever been with a woman, and she asked you if you were reliable, honest or had a good relationship with your family?
Do you remember feeling motivated to answer in a way to IMPRESS HER?
Of course… we’ve all been there.
What’s important however is not what the outcome was in those situations, but only to be AWARE of the fact that you were EMOTIONALLY COMPELLED to behave in a certain way…
Whether she knew it or not (most likely, she DIDN’T) she was SHAPING you.
Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing…
People do it to each other all the time.
But most of the time, you are encouraging a woman to behave in a way that is NOT aligned with your desired outcome.
And that’s what we want to change STARTING RIGHT NOW.
There are a number of different ways you can start to employ shaping in your interactions with women.
And I’ve split them up into 5 different categories.
Now don’t get me wrong.
This is a HUGE topic, and I could literally teach an entire seminar on shaping ALONE.
Right now I just want to get the seeds planted in your mind so that you can begin to grasp the higher level ideas, and start to incorporate them into your interactions.
So let’s look at the five different categories of shaping.
1. Screening questions.
Screening questions are questions specifically designed to:
A) Get a woman to answer a specific way and
B) Start to behave in a manner more congruent with how she just answered you.
B) Start to behave in a manner more congruent with how she just answered you.
There are many types of screening questions, and above all you should use them in the right context.
For example, you wouldn’t start a conversation with a woman with the question “Do you consider yourself to be independent?”… but it might come later on.
Screening questions are by far the least subtle and most OVERT out of all the shaping techniques.
They are easiest to employ RIGHT away, but because they cause a sharp emotional response, they may seem transparent and obvious to the woman.
2. Showing that you value certain behaviors or personality traits.
This is very similar to screening questions, except this time you are making a statement.
It’s a little less obvious, but it is no where near as subtle as the remaining 3 techniques.
Instead of saying something like “What was the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?” (which is a screening question) You might say something like “Spontaneity is really important to me. It not only keeps things fresh and exciting, but also reminds me of our incredible freedom in life.”
Because you are JUSTIFYING your statement with a truism (it’s hard to argue that spontaneity keeps things fresh and exciting), she cannot disagree and will be motivated to agree that spontaneity is important.
And because she’s committed to saying spontaneity is important, she will now behave in a way CONSISTENT with that.
3. Setting a strong precedent through storytelling.
Now we’re getting warmer.
This technique, along with the next two, are VERY devious.
They are so devious, in fact, that women use them ALL THE TIME.
It’s funny actually – my sister recently sat in on a recent DiClassified Drills workshop in NYC and I was surprised to discover that she not only agreed with the effectiveness of my techniques, but also – had already used many of them NATURALLY!
Of course this makes sense, seeing that many of my BEST techniques have been stolen DIRECTLY from the women I know who have the VERY BEST game.
The idea behind this 3rd concept is that you will tell a story that DEMONSTRATES what standards you expect, so that she can live up to them.
For example, you could say to a woman, very early in the interaction something like:
“One thing that is great about my friend Sarah, is that she is extremely thoughtful. Last night I mentioned that I was thinking of going shopping for a few new shirts, and not two hours later she dropped off this month’s copy of GQ magazine on her way to the gym. Only problem now is, I have TOO MANY new ideas for a new outfit.”
The beauty of that is, it doesn’t even have to be true!
(I’m not going to make a moral decision for you here, I’m sure that you’re more than capable. But for the record, these techniques have the exact same effect on a woman whether they are true or not)
4. Pointing out a desired personality trait while ignoring the undesirable.
This is classic shaping, and can be used freely to amplify existing behaviors and personality traits.
The idea is that – if you see a girl doing something (for example, drinking like CRAZY while out in a bar) you can comment on this in the following way.
Taking this single behavior – drinking like crazy, there are different components to it, some good, some bad.
Let’s say you like the free-spirited aspect of it, but you don’t like the fact that she may not have a lot of self control…
You could say:
“Wow, you’re so much fun! and so-free spirited. It’s cool you do things you really want to do, and don’t rely for others for direction. You follow your OWN desires.”
By pointing out behaviors, you are in fact REWARDING them and AMPLIFYING that same behavior
in the future.
in the future.
By selecting the ASPECT of her behaviors you like, and calling attention to them, you are SHAPING her future behavior.
(By the way, the above example is useful when going for a same-night-lay with a girl. You tell her she makes her own decisions and she’ll be less likely to listen to her friends when they suggest that she shouldn’t go home with you. Sneaky, but also KILLER in the field)
5. Reward calibration i.e. giving a woman cues as to how to perceive you based on the nature of the way you reward her ‘good’ behavior. This is highly advanced, and I am far beyond the scope of this newsletter.
Just understand that if you have determined what you will acknowledge as “good” behavior from a woman, it is to your benefit to REWARD her with something you want her to WORK for or CHASE AFTER.
Hint: It should be either affection, physicality or getting in bed, and NEVER material or monetary. Violating this rule is the surest way to CREATE a gold digger!
(YES. Gold diggers are not born gold diggers. They are CREATED on a case by case basis by the men in their lives. See a woman as a gold digger, and that my friend, is what she will be.)
Be good, and use these techniques with care.
Online Dating: 13 Tips To Write A Winning Online Profile And Attract A Date
How long do you spend getting ready for a night out? At a guess I would say that if youre a woman you can
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Now let me ask you how long you would spend (or have spent) writing a profile for an online dating site? Less than 5 minutes, possibly 10 minutes maximum?
When you consider that you literally have minutes to impress someone and stand out from the rest in the online dating scene, dont you agree that more time and effort should be put into writing an online profile?
If you are an online dater, Im sure you will agree with me that when you are searching for a partner online you will first of all look at the profiles with photos and, secondly, you will look at the profiles where people have taken the time to write something about themselves. So if you have no photo and/or an incomplete and uninformative profile, dont be surprised if you inbox isnt full to the brim with messages!
Im going to share a few tips with you to get you started writing an eye-catching profile. Once youve read them take some time to think about what you are going to write and jot down some quick notes before hitting the keyboard.
1. Grab a friend
If you dont like writing about yourself or think you are going to get writers block its a good idea to enlist the help of a friend; the kind of friend who is always saying to you I cant understand why youre still single, youre such a catch. Ask your friend what your star qualities are and he or she will come up with a million and one positive things about you which you would have never thought of or dared to say about yourself.
2. Strike a pose
The most effective way to get noticed online, is to include a photo. Choose a clear photo that shows in your best light and preferably smiling – it makes much better viewing!
3. Choose a fun username
This is the name which you will be known as by members on the dating site. I would advise you to use a name other than your real name to remain anonymous. Try and choose a name that is fun and reflects your personality, i.e. Sporty Sam or Disco Queen. Do not use a name which is sexually provocative or offensive.
4. Captivate your audience
Make your profile really stand out so that any person reading it will think Wow, I have to get to know this person!
Online dating sites have made it easy for you when completing your profile by providing drop down menus for basic questions such as your appearance, lifestyle, hobbies but you will also be given additional space to write something yourself. Use this space wisely to provide a more detailed description about your personality, your interests and what you are looking for. The key is to be confident and talk positively about yourself without coming across bigheaded.
5. Dont leave an empty space
If you feel you have covered everything by answering the profile questions please do not leave the additional space blank or write ask me, tell you later or I dont know what to say. Members will see your profile and think youre either not serious about dating or that if you cant be bothered to put some effort into writing a profile you will have the same approach in a relationship effortless! Instead extend on the information already provided, for example, if you have stated you like travelling talk about some of the places you have visited.
6. Ask questions
If there is a particular place you visited and fell in love with, ask anyone who has been there to get in touch with you so you can reminisce together. Asking a question in your profile makes it easy for other members to respond to.
7. Be Honest
Dont lie about interests; you will get found out! For example, dont say you love long walks in the countryside if you really like to dance the night away in nightclubs every weekend. Youll attract the wrong person and waste both of your time.
As with any other kind of dating, it is always best to be honest from the start so answer all questions honestly and finding your perfect match will be much easier!
8. Show your funny side
I think if you can make someone laugh or someone makes you laugh, youre on the path to a good relationship. Show people that you have a sense of humour, e.g. talk about a scene from one of your all time favourite comedies and you may strike a chord with someone else who found the same thing just as funny as you.
9. Dream a little
Write about your dreams and ambitions. If your dream is to travel the world but you havent quite got round to it there may be someone out there who would like to share this experience with you. If youve been lucky enough to fulfil your dreams, share your story with other members.
10. Dont mention the ex!
Ok, so you may have just come out of a relationship and be feeling sad and lonely but dont write about it. It will put a lot of people off and you may come across desperate, which is not an attractive trait. Make online dating a new start for you and promise yourself not to dwell on past relationships.
11. Your expectations
What are your expectations from joining an online dating site? Tell people the kind of relationship you are hoping to find but dont say you are looking for marriage if you are really looking for a casual fling and vice versa. Again, you will waste both of your time.
12. Write a chapter, not a book
By this I mean, dont tell your whole life story in your profile. I encourage you to provide as much information as possible about yourself but use short bursts of information, sectioned by paragraphs, rather than writing a long essay so whoever is reading it is intrigued to find out more about you.
13. Be safe
Finally, do not include any personal information in your profile, e.g. your e-mail address, home address, work address or telephone number. A reputable dating site will remove any personal information before it appears live on site; this is to ensure that they provide you with a safe online dating environment.
Once youve completed your profile, read through it or ask a trusted friend to read through it and ask, would you reply to this person? If yes, its all systems go. If no, look at the areas where it can be improved until youve created that winning profile. It may take longer than 5 or 10 minutes but the results that will show in your inbox will be worth it!
Successful Dating Begins With Successful Flirting: 11 Flirting Tips For Work and Play
Why are some people born natural flirts and others couldn’t charm the backside of a bus if their life depended on it?
The power of flirting goes beyond attracting the opposite sex. Master the art of flirting and you also become a friend magnet and can use your skills to influence business relationships.
“You’ve either got it or you haven’t!” is often what you will hear men saying when they boast about their conquests. Women, on the other hand, are more coy when talking about a man they have met. So as not to appear full of herself, she will often say to her friends “Oooh, I don’t think he likes me, what do you think?” If she is a successful flirt, however, she will be thinking along the same lines of a man, “Yeah, he was putty in my hands!”
Flirting is an art requiring confidence without being OTT. A successful flirt knows how to get the balance just right; too much and there is a real danger you will be labelled as “slimy” (if you’re a man) and “tarty” (if you’re a woman).
If flirting doesn’t come naturally to you, you can learn to flirt by building your confidence, believing in yourself and interacting with other people.
Here are some basic flirting tips which can be practised at work and/or on a social scene.
1.Have Fun!
First and foremost flirting is fun! Whether you are the flirter or the flirtee it makes both parties smile (on the inside as well as the outside!). Don’t take it seriously; be playful, be light-hearted, be infectious!
2.Ooze Confidence
The best flirts have a positive outlook on life and are happy with themselves. To successfully flirt you need to feel good about yourself before you are able to transmit this “feel good” factor to the opposite sex. If you display a positive and optimistic attitude to life you will find yourself connecting with people who are right for you.
3.Make the first move
Dont wait for someone to approach you. If it’s someone at work you’ve got your eye on, wait for them to go to the kitchen and then make a beeline for the coffee machine. The same applies in a bar, wait for them to go to the bar and then squeeze in next to them. Start with a simple Hello and take things from there. What have you got to lose?
4.Pay a compliment and receive a smile
A genuine compliment costs nothing and yet can make someone feel so special. If someone looks great, tell them! If someone has achieved something to be proud of, tell them! Once you start making someone feel good about themselves, they are more likely to want to spend more time with you! And if someone pays you a compliment, be proud of the compliment and say Thank you!
5.Eye to Eye Contact
Eye contact is one of our most powerful communicating mechanisms. Most people dont have a problem making eye contact with someone they dont find attractive but they become awkward in front of people they are attracted to. If you tend to look away at people you like, practice making eye contact with people on your way to work, a quick glance and then turn away. This is a good way to build up your confidence. Dont stare, however, this will make people feel uncomfortable!
6.Pitch your voice
Learn to vary the tone, pitch and speed of your voice. A voice rich in tones sounds far more interesting than one dull note!
7.Listen
A good flirt has the ability to get people to open up and talk about themselves. Pay attention when someone is talking to you and ask questions to show you are interested. The best questions are the ones which will lead to someone remembering a positive experience about themselves.
8.Move your body!
There are many positive body language signs: lingering eye contact, smiling widely, touching someone, head tilting to one side, running fingers through hair, undivided attention but if you really want to let go and flirt openly dance! Dancing is a great form of self-expression allowing you to interact with someone and connect.
9.Smile, Smile, Smile!
Make your smile contagious! The more you smile the more people will want to know you and be around you!
10. Dont be rude!
Flirting does not involve being sexually explicit! Nor does it involve being offensive if someone rejects your advances. If you have been flirting with someone and are not receiving positive feedback dont get disheartened or take it personally, move on to the next person! You may want to consider a different approach if you are getting a lot of rejections.
11.Send an email
Emails are a great way to communicate with someone if you’re too shy to approach them face to face. Whether it’s someone you are interested in at work or you want to try internet dating, emails and instant messaging allow you to flirt without blushing or getting tongue-tied.
Be careful not to become intimate online too quickly though; it’s easy to paint a rosy picture of the person behind the monitor but until you have met them you don’t really know them. My message here is get to know someone online before arranging a date, but don’t fall in love before meeting them! The reality could burst the bubble!
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